You Can Never Go Home Again

Sometimes, loving things and being passionate about them, and being a "fan" of them, is a double edged sword.

For example, I live in a world where many things I grew up loving, such as The X-Men/Marvel Comics, Star Trek, Star Wars, Godzilla, WWF/E wrestling, Doctor Who, etc etc., in their modern/current incarnations, in my opinion, are steaming hot garbage.

Granted, as the saying goes, "Change is Inevitable". But does the "new form" things I love take, have to be so absolutely shitty, sub-par, ill-conceived, and in many cases, not at all resembling what myself and many others actually loved about it in the first place?

I'll always have the old stuff that I love. It's still there, and it's still amazing. But I miss that feeling of being excited about new things. I miss that feeling of excitedly waiting for the next episode or issue of X-Men to come out so I can see what happens next. I miss looking forward to the next Toho Godzilla film. I miss wondering what's going to happen on next Monday's edition of Raw, or being excited about the new Star Wars things coming down the pipeline.

That was a nice feeling. And these days? Even OUTSIDE of those specific things...there just isn't a lot I get excited about anymore. The closest thing is video games, where there ARE still a handful of games that come out every now and then that I'm really enthusiastic about playing. But even those are far fewer in number than they once were years ago. And there's music, there are still some albums that I look forward to that pop up every now and then. But overall? Not much.

It's entirely possible that maybe I really am just "getting old", and jaded, and that the modern world is just "outgrowing me", and I'm just not "keeping up with the times". But it's thus ALSO just as likely, if not more-so, that in truth, the directions/trends that a MAJORITY of modern things follow, really IS a lot dumber/lesser/worse than in years past. Maybe a lot of modern entertainment shit really HAS just gotten that bad, and I'm not able to get excited about it anymore, because there really IS very little to get excited about.

Both fascinating to think about...and depressing.

Methods of Communication

It's funny (but not surprising), that one key thing that gets lost in the ridiculous and sexist "Mansplaining" conversation, is the stereotypical fact that men supposedly learn to communicate the most via sharing ideas and information. In other words, explaining things.

Ever hear a little boy excitedly tell you all about something he just learned or something he really likes? Ever hear a conversation between boys, or even men, where they tell each other all about something, or share many "Did You Know?" facts with each other? Is that also "Mansplaining"? Or is that just how they learn to communicate.

Nevermind the fact that it is a very pointed, bigoted, nasty, and offensive word. Also nevermind the fact that many women "Womansplain" a lot of the time also, yes even to men. The point is that, perhaps, just perhaps, not everyone born with a dick is BEING a dick, and "Showing Their Privilege", when they try to share ideas or information with you. If they are telling you about something, or explaining something, it's entirely possible that they aren't AWARE you might already know about it, and they're simply sharing from what is to THEM a good place. It's how they learned to communicate. Perhaps there's actually zero gender-based malice attached to the act at all, and you're the one being a bigot for assuming that they MUST be "Mansplaining" to you.

That's about the same, and about as ignorant, as assuming that a woman is "on the rag" or "overly emotional", just because, again stereotypically, women learn to communicate more through, and about, their feelings. It's also just as offensive. Truth is, men communicate their feelings too, and women communicate ideas and information. But society tends to raise us to express ourselves and communicate with others one way or the other, based on gender norms. That does not mean that a man is "Mansplaining" to you because he tells you about something. And guess what? If he's doing it in a way that actually IS rude and actually IS him being a dick about it? Anyone can be an asshole. That is not gender specific.

Maybe more millennials would know that, if they took more actual Psych and Sociology courses in college, instead of (often contrived and biased) Women's/Gender Studies courses. They might also know that if they *GASP* bothered regarding each person as a person, and not simply part of their "Gender Group". Either way, the word "Mainsplain", and it's use, are at the core, both bigoted and offensive, and if you're actually serious about treating people as people, with Equality, then you'd understand that, and wouldn't use it.

But I'll stop "Mansplaining" to you now. IE Telling you anything at all whilst being male. 

Taking A Knee

I am not the biggest fan of how some (or even many) BLM "activists" act. Some of them are outright bigots, and are using their cause to their advantage as excuses to act childish and entitled and destructive.

However, that doesn't invalidate the point of the entire movement, just because some within it are worthless assholes. I have never liked Colin Kaepernick, and don't want him on the Baltimore Ravens. But that has nothing to do with him kneeling. Never has been.

Players around the NFL protested during the national anthem on Sunday, for major reason only: Showing Solidarity in the face of a childish, angry-tweeting embarrassment of a President, who outright called any pro athlete who protests, a "Son of a Bitch". Please tell me the last time a United States PRESIDENT said anything even remotely as divisive, and childish, and embarrassing to our nation, as that, to his own CITIZENS no less. Go ahead, I'll wait.

It was not even about race or politics anymore. It was an act of Solidarity, which is why a lot of NON-black players and coaches, etc., joined in protest. Yes, they're a bunch of overpaid millionaires (well, the stars at least). But that doesn't mean they aren't still people. And when the PRESIDENT of the United States calls some of them "Sons of Bitches", they stood TOGETHER in defiance of that, and in SUPPORT of each other. There's nothing embarrassing about that at all. If anything, fans SHOULD be proud of it.

If you are "embarrassed" or upset by pro athletes kneeling or displaying some other form of PEACEFUL protest, I think you really need to look in the mirror and check your priorities. You should be embarrassed that our GREAT nation, has a President who angry-tweets and cusses people out and shoots off at the mouth, WITHOUT any filter, to anyone he feels like, whether it be reporters, citizens, or even OTHER nations, basically trying to provoke war. THAT should embarrass you. Not the peaceful protest actions of athletes you otherwise cheer for and claim to love.

Kneeling or standing on the sideline locking arms or staying in the locker-room, etc., during the National Anthem, is not in any way "disgracing" the flag or the country. If anything, it is the highest form of HONORING the flag and the country. Because as we all know, according to our version of history, this nation was FOUNDED as an act of protest. If you don't recognize that, then you don't understand this country as well as you claimed to. There is nothing especially sacred about our flag, or the song we play as our National Anthem. The only thing that has ever been sacred about this nation, even with all of its ugly and violent history, has been "We The People".

If you don't support the proud American tradition of protest, well then I don't know what to tell you. Except that you really don't understand what it's supposed to mean to be an American. And you most certainly are not "defending" or "honoring" the flag by shitting on other's right to peacefully protest, which is all they're doing. And quite frankly, as a sports fan myself, I have to say, if you're THIS upset and THIS quick to turn on players and a team and a sport that you claim to love, then I really have to question how much you ever truly loved the sport or the team or the players in the first place.    

Love and Life

You know...I'm not going to "judge" people like Chris Cornell and Chester Bennington for taking their own lives. And this isn't about "judgement", so for anyone who might read this, don't even bother going there.

However, I will say that I simply do not understand how they could do it. You can say whatever you want about "chemical imbalances" and whatever meds they were on "affecting their minds" etc. etc. etc. But at the end of the day, IGNORING the fact that they were rich and successful and "had it all". The most important thing to me, the reason I find it unbelievable that they could just kill themselves, is because they both had wives and children and families who truly loved them.
I have never had a wife and children. I have never truly felt like I had "Family". I have relatives, but I've never had that "Family" closeness, in my entire life. And even many of the "friends" I've had over my life, have been rather dubious, and more than a few have turned out to false and self-interested, self-serving, etc. But one of the key factors in the depression that I have suffered and struggled with most of my life, has stemmed from loneliness and being alone. Not having even that "One" person in your life, who is always there, who will always love you and lift you up, no matter what.

Chris and Chester had that, and more. I can only imagine what it would feel like to NOT feel alone, and to actually HAVE love in my life, a wife, children, family. They had that. Yet they both chose to take their own lives, and LEAVE their loves and their families. Selfishly. I won't sit here and tell you I've never contemplated suicide in my own life. I have, a great many times. Possibly too many times to count. I don't talk about this with the vast majority of people I know openly, because quite frankly, it's my own private business, and most people do not need to know, much less do they truly care. But I can tell you with authority, that my ever wanting to kill myself, has stemmed DIRECTLY from being alone and miserable in this life.

If I had even just a woman/wife in my life, that one person who TRULY loved me and to whom I meant the world to, I would never EVER kill myself. Much less if we had children together, a beautiful family that WE had made together. I couldn't even conceive of wanting to die in that scenario. Why? Because I believe, have ALWAYS believed, that were I to HAVE that in my life, love, family, I would want to LIVE. A desire for death only comes from feeling like you have nothing and that nothing will ever get better. I'm sure many people who have suffered with depression and suicidal thoughts could tell you that. But if I had that love in my life, while everything, and my own problems, might not just magically disappear, I CAN tell you that all of the miseries and tediousness and frustrations of life would be a hell of a lot more tolerable. I could bare it all, because I had "Her", because I had "them" in my life. I would want to live as long as I possibly could, just to BE with them, and enjoy whatever time I could possibly get with them. I that with authority now more than ever, being almost 36 years old and still alone in life.

But the POINT is, that is why I cannot conceive why they would want to die, or how they could bring themselves to do it. Having loving wives, having loving children and families in their lives. I'm not saying that if I had a wife and kids that I wouldn't still be broken inside. That may be unfixable at this point, for all I know. But I WOULD love them as much as I possibly could, and would savor every moment with them that I could get. Doing what they did, to me, was selfish, and you could argue even an act of betrayal to the people who held them most dear. People who loved them and depended on them. Basically what I have wanted for myself my entire life, dating even back to childhood.

And I'm just saying, I don't get it. If I had what they had, personally, I would never, COULD never, do what they did.

Selective Facts and Moral Superiority

I'm sorry, but militant, cultist, morally superior, virtue signalling Vegans really piss me the hell off.

You've got people suffering and dying, losing their homes, even losing their LIVES, in these hurricanes and wildfires and crazy shit that's going on. And all they can think to do is sit around barfing up their religious fanaticism about "SEE, IF YOU JERKS DIDN'T EAT MEAT, THIS WOULDN'T BE HAPPENING!".

Make no mistake, we DO need to change the way we do pretty much EVERYTHING in our society (and EVERY society), not 20 years from now but TODAY. And that includes farming practices. But let's also get something straight here:

1. Choosing not to eat meat or use animal products does NOT make you superior to anyone.

2. People who DO eat meat or choose to use animal products, including dairy, are NOT bad people, and you have ZERO right to bully or shame them for THEIR lifestyle choice, when you expect YOURS to be respected.

3. The meat industry, particular beef, IS destructive and harmful to the environment, but not NEARLY to the level that fanatical vegans try to make it out to be. That doesn't mean it doesn't NEED to change. It absolutely has to, just like everything else we do wrong that was never sustainable in the first place. But even if you convinced everyone to stop eating BEEF, let alone ALL meat and animal products TOMORROW, it would not, repeat NOT, "Save the World". It would be a drop in the bucket compared to every OTHER source of pollution and garbage/waste, and oil spills, and gas leaks, and second-hand smoke, and carbon emissions, etc. etc. etc. Just because YOU don't consume animal products, does not mean that you are NOT still every bit as destructive and as much to blame for our modern issues in many OTHER ways, as everyone else is. If we're really going to give future generations a better tomorrow, or ANY tomorrow, we have to change SO much more than farming and dietary practices. And making the world Vegan, is NOT going to have nearly as much impact as you dream that it would. In fact, it would push people to over-produce and over-consume even MORE non-meat products, which in turn would have their OWN more destructive effects. It helps to actually think something through to conclusion, instead of just having what you think is a nice idea, and then beating people over the head with it at the top of your lungs (or fingers).

4. If you actually knew anything about human anatomy and biology, let alone anthropology and history, you'd know that human beings are NOT "meant" to be vegetarian or vegan. If someone CHOOSES that lifestyle, great for them, I 100% support them in that. But do NOT go around trying to tell people, let alone ME, that that is "How humans are supposed to be". Because that's flat out bullshit, on an evolutionary scale. If we were meant to be herbivores, our bodies wouldn't literally digest protein matter FAR easier than plant matter. Our teeth wouldn't be sharp and jagged, even our molars. They would be flat and dull, like a herbivores. There is nothing WRONG with choosing to not eat meat. If that is your choice, I commend you. But do NOT do what every other asshole on the planet does, and go around trying to selectively hold up cherry-picked and partially-understood "scientific facts", as validation for your virtue signaling and moral superiority.

5. If you are the type of person who uses tragedies such as these, as an opportunity to push your own agenda, you are no better, no more intelligent, no more morally superior, no less ignorant, no less petty, and no less shallow than the assholes like Cameron Kirk and the Westboro Baptist Church, who blame natural disasters like this on "The Wrath of God", because of something others do THEY don't approve of. In either case, you're a heartless asshole, and part of the problem. You are NOT one of the good guys. 

Freedom of Expression

By now, everyone in America, and many around the world, are familiar with what went down in Charlottesville, Virginia. A group of "White Supremacists" decided to hold a rally, chanting such charming things as "Black Lives Don't Matter" and "We're Taking Our Country Back". So-called "Anti-Protesters", people who stand against their rhetoric, also showed up, to try and shout them down, or at the very least, one would suppose, show that people won't sit at home while these kinds of fools march around. But then, as things often do, especially in today's tense and troubled times, shit got real. Violence erupted, and in the escalation, some asshole decided to take a page out of ISIS' notebook, and drove his car into a crowd of "Anti-Protesters". Many people were injured, and one woman died. This act was ignorant, and evil, as are these words. The fact that an American emulated the Islamic Terrorist tactics of driving cars into crowds, is pretty terrifying, and I doubt it'll be the last instance.

However, while I have no love whatsoever for so-called "Nazis" (although let's be honest, no matter what they call themselves, these Home Depot clowns aren't Nazis), there is something worth musing, that I have posited myself elsewhere, that few seem to actually want to step up and answer. That being: If the driver had been one of the "ANTIFA" (aka Liberal) protesters, driving into a crowd of the "White Supremacists", how many of the people (rightly) decrying this act, would be the exact same people cheering it? If it had been an "SJW" killing a "Nazi" with their car, how many of these same people would be applauding them and calling them a "Hero"?

My guess, is quite a few. A lot more than most people would likely want to admit. As a "Person of Color" (though I dislike the term) myself, of mixed-ancestry, I have experienced bigotry and "racism" from all quarters. I've been attacked for looking non-white. I've been attacked for being white. I've been attacked for my Middle-Eastern heritage. I've been attacked for "still being too white to have a voice in PoC issues", etc. etc. etc.

But my thing is this. Are these "White Supremacist" idiots and ignorant assholes? Absolutely. 100%. Few are going to actually try to make a solid argument against that. But are every single one of them "EVIL"? Probably not. A lot of them, outside of this retarded group, outside of the fervor and the paranoia and the hate, are probably decent people, with jobs, and friends, and family, some even children. Should they be beaten, or threatened, or doxed? Should their families be threatened by association? Should they and their families lives be ruined? No, they shouldn't. 1. Because that isn't going to fix or solve anything. And 2. Because that is exact the disgusting, ignorant kinds of actions that many on the "Left" accuse many of the "Right" of already doing. It is endemic of the reality of this entire situation: that it's an endless Feedback Loop, with people on one side getting more aggressive and vile, which spurs the other side to escalate, etc. etc. But that is a topic for another day.

The biggest question is: Should hate speech be tolerated? Should bigoted, racist rhetoric, even in the form of "Free Speech Demonstrations", be allowed in public forums? I will admit, because they are either indirectly or sometimes directly advocating violence and harm to others, there is an argument to be made that NO, it shouldn't be allowed. But, on that same token, if we're going to shut down this kind of thing, then we should also shut down "Black Lives Matter" protests that go far beyond their original purpose, and devolve into straight up racism and bigotry themselves, carrying signs and yelling out things like "FUCK ALL WHITE PEOPLE", and "THE WORLD NEEDS LESS WHITES". And those are just some of the nicer things I've seen.

The problem with Freedom, is that everyone ELSE around you has it too. I have long said that "The True Price of Freedom, is Having to Tolerate The Freedom of Others". It isn't sending people to foreign wars to kill people, because rich folks who run shit say so. The true Price of Freedom, is that I have the freedom to say whatever the fuck I want, and so does some redneck piece of trash who wants to wave a Nazi flag. That is America. You're allowed to be a Nazi if you want to be a Nazi, unfortunately. Just as much as you are allowed to be a white-hating "Black Supremacist" who preaches a mythological doctrine which states that ALL white people are biologically evil, animals less than human, and need to be wiped out. Yes, those people exist, because I've run into them FAR too many times online. Two sides of the same, hideous coin, if you ask me.

Me personally? I don't WANT to live in a world where "White Supremacists", or "Black Supremacists" or "Muslim Supremacists" or "Christian Supremacists", or ANY of those kinds of hateful assholes, exist. However, this is the world we live in. And I happen to value my Freedom of Expression. For my Freedom of Expression to have ANY real value and worth, I have to believe that it applies to EVERYONE, not just me, and not just people who say things I like or approve of. But everyone. Even the hateful, ignorant, mouth-breathing assholes. I say, let people hang themselves with their own words. LET them be racists, LET them hold rallies and look like the fucking idiots they are. And then let people publicly CONDEMN them for it, and point OUT what racist troglodytes they really are.

But to shut down Free Speech? To shut down rallies and protests? That is a slippery slope. Where does it end? Shutting down their Youtube channels and blogs and websites? Making it "illegal" to publicly even SAY racist things at all? In some sense, that ALMOST seems justified. But then what's next? Coming after OTHER "harmful" or "radical" ideologies? Coming after people like me, who like to express myself, with colorful language and sometimes, yes, "Radical" ideas of my own? If we start becoming a Society of Censorship, instead of a Society of Free Expression, I'm sorry, but that is not the society I want to live in.

As an artist, a writer, a person, I value my ability to say whatever the hell I feel like, and as a grown ass adult, I'll deal with the consequences. And if we start shutting down protests, and then shutting down dialogue and discussion, shutting down people's ability to speak and express themselves, REGARDLESS of what they have to say... where does that end? Because if it ends with me ALSO getting censored, told "You can't say that" or "You can't talk about that", "You can't write about that". You know what? Fuck that, and fuck anyone who would want to do that to me. I don't WANT racist assholes to spread their idiocy. But I DO want to be able to express MYSELF without restraint. So unfortunately, for that to mean anything real, THOSE clowns have to have the same right that I have. I don't even remotely value WHAT they have to say. But I do feel obligated to value their RIGHT to say it.

Group-Think and Individualism

It's sad how that guy from Google people are talking about, was fired for spreading an "anti-diversity" campaign. Except that's not what he did. His overall point (if you actually read it) was to treat people as individuals, on a case by case basis, NOT as simply part of their group (IE black, Hispanic, Muslim, female, LGBT, etc.). Which is exactly how people SHOULD be treated, and regarded, as individuals, who are unique and not part of a larger mold. Everyone, even people within certain so-called "Groups", are different. 

He was basically fired because the fine people in charge at Google, are apparently the SJW types who don't believe people SHOULD be treated as individuals. The kind of people who call out women or LGBT or blacks (as examples) for "betraying their own kind, or internalized sexism/racism/etcism" for simply daring to think for themselves and have their own views on things, separate from the echo chamber. It really strikes me, from the way these people act, that they expect all women/feminists should act and think the same, that all blacks should act/think the same, that all LGBT people should act/think the same, etc. etc. etc. And that idea is beyond disturbing, because it implies that there is no room for Diversity of thought, belief and personality, within this "Diverse" world they claim to be trying to build for the betterment of everyone. 

It's amazing to me, as a so-called "Progressive", that these kinds of idiots claim to be "Progressive", that they claim to value individuality and choice and personal agency, yet act threatened when you challenge their established rhetoric even the slightest bit. And mind you, this isn't unique to "Liberals", people such as the Alt-Right or extremist Religious folks act the exact same way. Here's the major problem with that: If your ideals cannot stand up to dissent or even the tiniest bit of criticism or debate, those ideals are worth less than nothing. If any other thoughts outside of the specific "Safe Space Bubble" that you wish to create, are seen as THREATS...well, I hate to break it to you, but that's called fascism. Intellectual Fascism as the very least, and ANTI-Intellectual as well.

It's just ridiculous, and pretty frightening, when an alleged value for "Diversity", doesn't actually value Diversity.